Why giving is good for you
1. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
“he thanked them for their kindness and support”
synonyms: kindliness, kind-heartedness, warm-heartedness, tender-heartedness, goodwill, affection, warmth, gentleness, tenderness, concern, care;
plural noun: kindnesses
“it would be a kindness on your part to invite her”
synonyms: kind act, good deed, act of kindness, good turn, favour, act of assistance, service, help, aid
“she has done us many a kindness”
What goes around comes around – and with kindness it really does. Research shows that being kind to others increases our own levels of happiness as well as theirs. What’s more it has a knock-on effect – kindness is contagious, so it makes our communities nicer places to be.
Recent research into brain functioning has confirmed that we are hard-wired for love and compassion. So, it’s not all chasing about individual success – our communities and society flourish when people look out for each other.
When we’re kind to people we know it strengthens our connections with them and provides a source of support. Research shows that we may benefit from giving support more than those receiving it – and we’re also more likely get support in return when we need it. This may not be like-for-like support, or even from the same person, but being kind to others builds a wider support network which increases well-being all round.
Doing kind things for strangers helps build co-operation, trust and a sense of safety in our communities. It also helps us to see others more positively and empathise with them. These are the foundations of a thriving local community and a flourishing society.
To be kind, it’s important for us to be aware of the people around us – and to notice their needs and feelings. We all have an innate compassion but sometimes it takes bit of time for us to tune into it. As the Dalai Lama says: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”
Kindness can be as simple as a smile, a thank-you or a word of encouragement. It’s a way of connecting, even if only for a brief moment, with those we pass in our daily lives. It doesn’t have to cost anything or take much time – what’s important is that it’s an act of genuine care and thoughtfulness for another person. There are lots of ideas below and throughout this website.
Kind acts can be spur of the moment, like when we notice someone in need. For example, we might give up our seat on the train or pick up and return someone’s glove when they drop it. Opportunities to be kind pop up all over the place – like handing on a newspaper we’ve finished reading, letting someone take our parking space or passing on an unused ticket.
Kind acts can also be thought through in advance – planning to do something for a friend, neighbour or loved one or because we want to spread some daily joy. There are unlimited ways to be kind to others – we only need to keep your eyes open and pay attention to those around us to start seeing opportunities to help.
Plan for kindness – Do some thinking about what you might do to spread some kindness – then you’re more likely to spot opportunities when they come up. Make yourself a list of small actions you could take in your daily life – they don’t have to cost any money at all. Think about people you know and others that you pass by during the day. What could you do today or tomorrow? What do you feel drawn to doing? There are lots of ideas below to get you thinking.
Have a kindness day – On a day, perhaps once a week, try to perform at least 5 different acts of kindness for different people. Make these things that you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Afterwards, think: How did you feel after you did each act? How do you feel at the end of the day? You could also do this as a challenge with friends and get together in the evening to talk about what you got up to. Go on spread a little kindness!
Do it together – Try to think about kind things you could do with friends, family or neighbours. You can swap ideas and support each other. Doing new things together helps build connections, which also increases happiness, so it’s a win all round. If you’ve got children, get them thinking about what they can do too. Ask them what kind acts they gave or received that day – they might share some lovely stories with you!
Here’s a list of suggested acts of kindness to get you started:
1. Give up your seat
2. Hold a door open for someone
3. Give a (sincere) compliment
4. Make someone laugh
5. Give someone a hug
6. Take time to really listen to someone
7. Let one car in on every journey
8. Make someone new feel welcome
9. Help someone who’s lost
10. Have a conversation with a stranger
11. Pick up litter as you walk
12. Let someone in front of you in the queue
13. Read a story with a child
14. Tell someone they mean a lot to you
15. Let someone have your parking spot
16. Offer your change to someone struggling to find the right amount
17. Treat a loved one to breakfast in bed
18. Buy cakes or fruit for your colleagues
19. Invite your neighbour round for a drink and a chat
20. Offer to help with someone’s shopping
21. Tell someone if you notice they’re doing an excellent job
22. Pass on a book you’ve enjoyed
23. Say sorry (you know who to)
24. Forgive someone for what they’ve done
25. Visit a sick friend, relative or neighbour
26. Buy an unexpected gift for someone
27. Bake something for a neighbour
28. Pay for someone in the queue behind
29. Do a chore that you don’t normally do
30. Help someone in need
31. Offer to look after a friend’s children
32. Offer to mow your neighbour’s lawn
33. Donate your old things to charity
34. Give food to a homeless person and take time to talk with them
35. Visit someone who may be lonely
36. Give blood
37. Get back in contact with someone you’ve lost touch with
38. Organise a fundraising event
39. Volunteer your time for a charity
40. Plan a street party
So, how can you lead a more compassionate, happier life???? Here are six rules to follow every day to live a much happier life.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” The Buddha
Be Kind to Yourself A compassionate life radiates from the inside out, so the only way to truly show love to others is to first start with yourself. Stop being your worst critic and turn into your greatest cheerleader. Be patient with yourself instead of rushing to assume the worst of your abilities. Resolve to speak only good things about you instead of putting yourself down. The compassion you feel inwardly will overflow to everyone in your life.
Be a Giver
One way to be more compassionate is to give. You can give money to your house of worship or to charity. You can also donate clothes to organizations that help the homeless. However, your offerings don’t have to be to a stranger. Look for opportunities to give amongst your friends and family. Perhaps your cousin has fallen on tough times or a friend just lost a spouse. You can be an angel for someone in need who’s close to home.
Find a Cause
Many people don’t have a cause – an issue or a plight about which they feel strongly. Causes give life fire. Want to know what your cause is? Ask yourself this question: what upsets you most when you watch your local news? Where do you see injustice that really riles you up? What makes you want to stick up for the underdog? These are clues that will lead you to organizations that you can join and support.
Forgive Both Big and Small Offenses
To lead with compassion means to extend mercy to others. That can be difficult when you feel like you’ve been wronged. Whether it’s a major crime against you or something as small as the rudeness of a stranger, you can learn to be a forgiving person. Forgiveness shows love to people in your life whether you feel like they deserve it or not. It frees the offending person, but it also releases you from the burden of carrying resentment.
Take Care of Something or Someone
Be an active participant in the care and nurturing of another living thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a child, a spouse, a pet or a plant. When someone else’s ability for growth and maturity is dependent on you, it calls for something special to rise inside of you. It expands your heart and builds up your capacity for kindness.
Expand Your Worldview
Having compassion comes from a place of empathy, which is the ability to feel someone else’s feelings. That can be difficult when most of us exist in our own tiny universe. So, you must push yourself beyond the knowledge and influence your own family and social circles. Read biographies about people you have nothing in common with. Watch documentaries made by and for ethnicities, genders and religions other than your own. You can go beyond tolerance to understanding when you try to see life through someone else’s eyes.
Why not take the kindness assessment and find out if you really are as kind as you think you are and use the 30 day challenge to build relationships and positivity!!!
I have challenged my team at work. Our challenge starts on 2nd January 2018!!!!